Will You Be There?
by Servatia
Summary: Set after Infinity War, sequel to Shadows in Disguise. Treat this accordingly. I cannot really say anything without spoilers. There's more on the inside.
1. Iss, trink, schlaf, träum

_((I've threatened to do this, but I needed a bit of distance first._

 _This is set still in Wakanda after Thanos snapped his fingers and went off to wherever. This isn't like the first part. It's a fix-it and little more. That means it's a lot shorter, almost plotless, and very self-indulgent._

 _The overall title is from the song_ Return _by Deine Lakaien._

 _This chapter heading is taken from the song_ Nicht dein Tag _(_ Not your day _) by Element of Crime. It means_ Eat, drink, sleep, dream _.))_

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 _1\. Iss, trink, schlaf, träum_

Thor had expected accusing looks, anger, resentment. He could have dealt with those way better than with the understanding he got. He could have ended it. All he had to do was sink Stormbreaker into Thanos's head. He had failed to do so and now billions were dead, just gone. Thor felt guilty and powerless in a way that was unique and new. The fact that the voice in his head telling him he had messed up sounded suspiciously like his brother wasn't helping.

On top of this, Thor had had no idea if any of his people still lived, let alone how many they were. There had been so few of them when Loki had started doing his census, and now at least half of them would be dead. Even before, they had wondered if they were enough to recover. And without Loki, the only thing that had kept Thor going had been his thirst for vengeance. He'd messed that up. Now he had nothing left. Nothing in all the world.

Thor had seated himself outside with a plate of food. It tasted bland to him, but considering how thrilled others were at the cuisine of Wakanda, that was probably just him. Truth be told, Wakanda as a whole was rather impressive, hidden from sight and a true haven on a planet beleaguered by its own inhabitants. This should be the perfect place to recuperate, to find back to himself after everything he had lost: Loki, for certain. Perhaps all of his people.

'You look terrible, you know that?'

Thor looked up at the woman standing over him. 'Thanks, Nat. That helps.'

She clicked her tongue. 'You want compliments, you look after yourself. None of us is feeling any sort of elation, believe me. You're not the only one.'

A part of Thor wanted to argue that he had lost the soul he loved the most in the world, maybe all of his people, and definitely his home; but in the end, he doubted that sheer quantities of pain could be measured. And she had a point. He knew he looked a mess. He simply couldn't muster up the energy to do something as mundane as shave and he lacked the peace of mind to sleep. Or eat, for that matter. 'You're right,' he said eventually. 'You trying to cheer me up? It's not going to work.'

'No.' She pointed into the distance. 'See that? Moving between the trees?'

Thor squinted. 'Nope.'

'Me neither. But the tech they've got here finally did. Maybe we should try and catch them.'

'Catch whom?'

Natasha's lips twitched into a small smile. 'Got your attention, did I? There's a pair of women out there. Know what? Come with me. We're going to the infirmary. It's not like I haven't asked those questions a million times, but perhaps you can make more of this.'

Thor didn't want to. But it was an excuse to stop eating and every further bite threatened to make him sick. 'Fine,' he said. 'Show me what you've got.'

'It sounds insane,' Natasha said as she walked Thor through the hospital. 'If what we heard is to be believed, some sort of deities intervened in the aftermath of the attack. I believe we both know this isn't what happened.'

'I honestly have no idea what can and can't happen anymore. If a guy can kill half the people in the universe by snapping his fingers, why wouldn't another guy be able to restore life as easily?' It was a dangerous thing to consider. It had the potential to give him hope and that wasn't going to be of any use.

'Trust me. Good miracles don't happen. Also, not a guy.' Natasha pushed the door to the infirmary open and was rushed by a doctor. 'My apologies,' she said. 'We'd like to speak to one of the people who had an … epiphany.'

'Still trying to pin that rescuer on us, are you? Well. Try room 12. One of your people.'

'He means S.H.I.E.L.D.' Natasha entered without knocking. 'Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment?'

A young man looked at them both. He flushed when he saw Thor. 'I can't believe I'm meeting you. Name's Jean Millings.'

'Thor.'

'Yeah, he knew that,' Natasha said casually. 'Can we ask you a few questions?'

'You think I'm crazy, too, don't you?'

'I don't, and Thor hasn't heard any of your reports so far. I found he should get it first-hand rather than watered down by me.'

Jean Millings's eyes were on Thor. 'When I'm done, you can tell them that I'm not crazy and as healthy as I've ever been and can go the hell home. Can't you?' He didn't wait for an answer. 'Well. Those things that Thanos sent against the barrier, some of them were still around after. Some of us were still around, too. 'Cause we couldn't walk away. And then the Shadow came. Finished a bunch of the things.'

'One of the soldiers gave her that name,' Natasha said. 'The Shadow. So far, we don't even know if this is someone from Wakanda or someone of our lot. One of the wilder theories is that it's someone S.H.I.E.L.D. had under their protection and that they went AWOL and got themselves here by whatever means. That's certainly more likely than a pair of ninja goddesses.'

'Well, if so many have seen her, you'll know what she looks like,' Thor said.

'You'd think that,' Millings said, clearly enjoying himself. 'But she isn't showing her face, no. She's clad all in black leather, skin tight. You see every muscle move, it's beautiful. Like, I was bleeding out and thought I was dying, but she managed to give me a boner … Sorry Miss Romanoff. I know I sound like a creep, but I swear she was out of this world.'

'Try to focus,' Natasha said. 'I know it's difficult through all that testosterone, but still. You were trying to tell us why you don't know what she looks like, apart from the fact you want to pork her even though you wouldn't recognise her in a line-up.'

Millings grinned. 'That's the thing. Her face is hidden by a leather mask, too, just her eyes aren't covered. And she wasn't getting close enough to us to see those.'

'And where did she go when she's done fighting?' Natasha asked.

'Ran right off again, into cover.'

'But who healed you? I mean, you said you couldn't go anywhere.'

'That's even weirder. When the Shadow's gone, the Guardian comes. Always silent. Touches those that are wounded, heals them, and then ambles away in the same direction the Shadow ran before. Doe eyes and an earnest but kind look on her face.'

'Did any of you try to stop her?' Thor asked. 'I mean, if she doesn't run away …'

'One of us did. Got thrown back by an invisible fist.'

'What did he try to hold her by?' Natasha asked. 'A boob?'

Millings snorted. 'Nah, we wouldn't have dared. He just put a hand on her wrist, didn't even hold her really. It's so strange, she never said a word. Look, could you tell the doctors that I'm not mad? I'm hardly the only one who saw them. You can't think we're all batshit.'

'Thing is, I believe you,' Natasha said. 'I'll talk to them. I'll … hang on.' Her phone was beeping quietly and she answered facing away from Thor. When she looked back at him, she had a determined look on her face. 'Well. It looks like our Shadow is walking towards us. Slowly. Let's go greet her, why don't we?'

As Thor watched the figure draw near, he admitted to himself that yes, she moved very sensually. He exchanged a look with Natasha, who raised an eyebrow. 'He's got a point,' she said quietly.

She was tall, almost as tall as Thor, and very slender. The black leather hugged her frame like a second skin. And her face was hidden, just as he'd said. 'Hi,' Natasha said. 'I'm not going to say welcome to Wakanda since you might be from here.'

'No.' Laughter bubbled from the stranger. She gave an exaggerated bow. 'I am not from Wakanda. I have to say, the climate doesn't agree with me, and I seek rest. Those that were alive and out there alone are safe now.' Large brown eyes settled on Thor, boring into him. 'Do you not know me? You have peered into my soul before.'

Thor blinked. 'If you show your face, I can probably tell you.'

Again, she laughed. 'Oh, certainly.' She ran a dainty hand over her face from the top to the bottom and the mask vanished. 'Wonder if the rest of my clothing is equally easy to dispose of?'

Her words barely registered with Thor. His eyes were fixed on her face. 'You are dead.' He reached for Natasha and pulled her further away from the woman, ignoring her protest. 'I saw you die.'

'You sound certain.'

'Hold.' Natasha had raised her hands. 'Who is this, Thor?'

He didn't turn his gaze from her for a moment. 'She is Gullveig. She is also extremely dangerous and evil.'

'Ah. Thor, she's saved lives. A lot of them. That doesn't seem all that evil.'

Finally, Thor looked at Natasha. 'You're right. Then you're not Gullveig but Heid. But you were never real, you were an illusion. How can you be here?' His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer to her. 'Unless you have everyone you helped ensorcelled, forming an army. We're weakened as is, and that will make it even easier.'

Gullveig tutted. 'Poor Thor. The people here seem fond of me. Some of them, too fond.' A lazy smiled tugged at her lips. 'But perhaps this is not the right way to win you. Perhaps this would do better.'

Her form and her features swam in front of Thor's eyes, shifting and resettling into someone else. The figure smiling at him was no longer the mad witch but his brother Loki, whole and with laughter dancing in his eyes.

Whatever emotion wanted to overwhelm Thor, he pushed it down. He reached out for her, grabbing her by the shoulders, and spun her, slamming her into the door that was now behind her. 'What?' the witch asked in Loki's voice. 'Here I thought you'd be happy to see me.'

'Stop it.' His voice was quiet, almost a growl. 'Stop it, you will not defile him like that.'

More laughter broke from her, Loki's face fearless. The expression looked so much like him in that moment that Thor was tempted to believe. He _wanted_ to believe, so much he almost faltered. 'Thor, you see it, don't you? It is I, this is not a trick. I'll explain …'

'No!' Thor hardened his grip on the lean shoulders. 'Loki wouldn't impersonate you of all creatures.'

'Taking a form that isn't my own is easier if the shape taken is familiar. And I didn't want to be recognised. Gullveig made sense.'

'Prove it. If you are Loki, prove it.'

He got a scoff. 'I will do no such thing, certainly not as long as you're manhandling me.' The figure in his hold started to struggle, but Thor refused to ease his hold. 'Let me go, Thor. Trust me for just one moment and you'll see.'

The resolve returned to Thor. He wouldn't allow the mad witch to mock Loki for a moment longer. His right hand let go of her arm and closed around her neck, pressing her hard into the door.

The figure froze, eyes suddenly wide and frightened and haunted. Slender hands with more strength than one would expect clutched at his arm, grappling uselessly. 'Thor …'

He let go as if he'd been burned. He had no idea how or why he was here, but this was not Gullveig. Loki – and all at once he knew this was him, not an illusion by a crazed Asgardian – had sunk to the ground with a gasp for air. When Thor tried to reach for him he flung out an arm, palm towards his brother as a meagre and shaking barrier. 'Don't touch me.' His voice quivered slightly. 'Ever again.'

'Loki …'

'No.' Loki scrambled to his feet. 'Don't.' He opened the door and slipped inside, leaving Thor stunned in the heat of Wakanda.


	2. Ти відсікаєш страх і холод

_((Chatper heading is taken from the song_ За тобою _(_ For You _read_ Za toboyu _) by the band_ _Полинове Поле_ _(that means Wormwood Field and reads Polynove Pole). It translates to_ You cut off fear and the cold _and is transliterated to_ Ty vidsikayesh strakh i kholod _.))_

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 _3\. Ти відсікаєш страх і холод_

'All right. What exactly just happened?'

Thor didn't know how long he'd been staring at the closed door, seconds or minutes. He swallowed and turned to face Natasha. 'I just attacked my brother because I thought he was dead and an impostor who is definitely dead.'

'We should alert the rest that …'

Thor shook his head so vigorously that Natasha fell silent. 'Loki is no threat. I know he was before, but he won't hurt anyone. He'll probably vanish.'

'Still. I'm going to talk to Steve. We have to decide if we need to hunt him or pin a medal on him for what he did here.'

'He'd laugh at you if you tried either.'

'Why did he help these people?'

'You should ask him that yourself. I can't read his mind or this would have gone very different.' He didn't wait for an answer but went back inside. His thoughts were a mess. The moments in which Thanos had destroyed Loki replayed in Thor's head again and again. It had been real. Sure, he'd thought the same on Swartalfheim, but that was different. He could have seen through it then. This time, though … There was no illusion. Thor had learned to tell the difference. Loki had died, the life squashed out of him by the Mad Titan. And now …

Absently, Thor had wandered into his quarters. He sank into the chair at his desk and buried his face in his hands. Loki was here. He was alive. And the first thing Thor had done was do the very thing Thanos had done to him.

The door opened and closed behind Thor. He knew who it was without looking. He waited for the verdict, for the declaration that he would never see his brother again. For some reason he was calm. Loki could hate him all he wanted as long as he lived. 'When we were little,' he heard him say, 'we fought. Often. I recall the first time we had a serious fight so vividly. Do you?'

Thor did turn now. He looked up into Loki's serious face and shook his head. He didn't trust his voice enough to speak.

Loki stood stock still with his hands behind his back. His voice was quiet when he continued. 'Granted, I don't remember what it was about. But I know I ran away, away from the garden into the woods outside until my lungs ached. I stopped, screamed my fury into the forest. And then I realised that I had no idea where I was.'

Ah. Thor knew what this was. He had demanded proof. Loki was giving him a memory that only the two of them shared before he extracted himself from Thor's life. 'You don't have to do this, I believe you.'

'But I want to. And you will listen. I sat down under a tree, filled with despair. I didn't think of Heimdall, who could find anyone anywhere, or that Mother could locate me in the blink of an eye. I thought I would perish, alone and forgotten and I started crying so hard … Until I heard footsteps.' A small smile tugged at his lips. 'I looked up and there you were. Agitated and intense. You saw me, saw my fear, and for once, you didn't laugh or mock. You pulled me to my feet and clutched me to your chest. Do you remember what you said to me when I told you I'd got lost?'

Thor swallowed. 'That you were never lost. And if you were you just had to follow your heart and it would lead you to me.'

Loki took a step towards him. 'I didn't believe you. And you did for me what I am doing for you now: You gave me proof. By saying that was how you had found me. I think you heard me crying and we weren't as far into the woods as I'd thought, but back then, it was enough.'

'I'd heard you, but only just before I found you. I told you the truth.' He rose and reached for Loki again, and this time Loki let him. His fingertips ghosted over the skin of Loki's throat. 'I bruised you. After what Thanos did …'

'Shush. You thought you were defending my memory. I may have panicked when I said you'd never touch me again.'

Emboldened by the gentleness in Loki's voice, Thor stepped closer and embraced him. Loki's arms closed around him, one hand in his hair, cradling his head. Thor pressed his nose behind Loki's ear and inhaled, letting his familiar scent fog his mind. 'How? How are you here? Have I finally gone mad?'

A small chuckle rippled through Loki's frame. 'No.' He pulled away. 'My apologies for not letting you know I was alive earlier, but since Thanos had the mind stone you had to believe.'

'How are you not dead, Loki? How did you trick Thanos?'

Loki walked to Thor's bed and sat on it cross-legged with his back to the wall. 'With necromancy. Well, not really, but you would call it that. Remember how you asked me what fake necromancy was? Well, here's your answer. And I know why Mother tried to tell me that I should never, ever do that, no matter how dire the situation.'

'Would you have survived without it?'

'No.' Loki made a face. 'I believe she never imagined a situation quite that dire when she said this. And I am very certain she would have done the same.'

'Still. Necromancy uses one person's life energy to awaken a corpse, basically killing someone in order to create a mindless zombie. That or killing someone to use the energy of their dying moments for something nasty. That couldn't have saved you.'

'I said _fake_ Necromancy, although that isn't the technical term. That would be thaumaturgy. All magic concerning corpses is bad news, but some of it is something a bit different. A corpse you awaken would just be a husk. Mindless, as you correctly said. Controlled by the seiðrmaðr using the spell. Thanos would have known it is being steered.' He shrugged. 'I repaired the damage on a corpse with a pierced heart. I transformed it to look like me. I hid myself from sight and … did something you should never try. I transferred myself, my mind, my soul, everything I am, into the body. Anchored to my own so I could return when the corpse I gave life failed.'

'So that was the body of a dead Asgardian walking towards Thanos, inhabited by you and looking like you?'

'A forbidden practice, by the way. There's a pretty specific law against what I did.'

'Yeah. I'll let you know when I care.'

'It had to be this way. You know I can create a more … manifest illusion. I've done it on Swartalfheim. But neither Thanos nor Ebony Maw would have been fooled by that. My struggle, my death had to be real.' Absently, Loki touched his neck. 'I died that day, Thor, make no mistake. I experienced the sensation to the fullest. Being choked. Having my neck broken just before I would have passed out. It was … exquisitely painful and I am not graced with the forgetfulness of death.' He swallowed. 'When I was myself again, I barely managed to protect myself, to do what I had prepared for in time. When the explosion came, I trapped myself, very much like Father trapped Hela. And like he carried her dimension with him, you carried mine. No-one's death was the trigger for my release but your arrival on Earth. I joined in the fight but lost sight of you in the chaos and I helped in the aftermath as much as I could. Most people I found were beyond saving. And now I am here. But Thanos is gone. Is he dead?'

Thor shook his head. 'No, he'll be back, I'm sure.'

'And I was so worried about him.'

'Scoff all you want, Loki, it's my fault. I had him. I could have finished him. But I wanted to make him feel at least a bit of the pain I felt. I wanted him to know who defeated him and why rather than just kill him. Stupid.'

'It does help. Twisting the knife. As long as your foe isn't an almost all powerful being. I'll just have to help you clean up the mess again, huh?'

Thor laughed. He couldn't help it. 'You've got some nerve. I may be a king without a people, but I have you. I am blessed.'

Loki clicked his tongue. 'Your people, a lot of them, are still out there in escape pods. They'll be found and brought home. Fjalar and Nari are with them. It will be all right. Listen, brother. We are still enough, even if half of us are dead. We have to be careful and we have to look after our people, but we can survive.'

For a few seconds Thor just looked at him, at his brother, at the man he loved above all others. 'Why did you save those soldiers?'

Loki looked away from him. 'I … you'll think I'm mad if I tell you that.'

'You becoming altruistic does sound like it.'

The green eyes, full of life, darted back to Thor. 'I didn't want to. I'll admit that I didn't have it together when I first got out of that dimensional pocket. I was dazed, confused. All I knew was everyone was fighting and if I didn't want to get drowned in the rage of it I had to follow suit and pick my side. That last was easy enough. But after … I'll admit to you that a part of me wanted to vanish. You had moved on, surely. And I remember very well what I said to you before … well, before.'

'You made a promise. Today, you got to keep it.' Thor knew this wasn't what Loki meant, but if he needed a golden bridge, Thor was more than happy to build him one.

Loki smiled. 'Ah. We both know this wasn't what I meant.'

'Then why would you want to vanish?'

'Thor. It was out of line.'

Thunder crackled at Thor's fingertips. 'Out of line? You _are_ mad. You're not beneath me, Loki. I know I used to treat you that way, but I've been doing all I can to show you I don't look down at you.'

Finally, Loki met his eyes again. 'Then would you have me repeat those words in front of Asgard?'

'Yes.'

For one moment, Loki's lower lip gave the faintest of trembles, but that was all the reaction this got Thor. 'I will say them gladly. But this wasn't where I was going.' He sighed. 'I wanted to run, I just didn't because … well, for one thing, intrigue. With this place, the people, their technology. It's very advanced for Midgard. But also … I had a dream. Of … of Mother. And she told me that you needed me. That you were grieving and had lost your vengeance and needed me to ground you. Ridiculous, I know, but there you are.'

Thor let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. 'Come here.' He waited for Loki to get out of his bed and stand before him. He placed his hands on his shoulders, holding on gently, and looked at him. 'Whatever that was – an apparition or just some connection between us – it was right. I need you more than anything in this world. And since father appeared to me before … well, it would make sense that mother speaks to you.'

Loki reached out to caress his face. 'You look horrible, do you know that?'

'I …' Thor looked away. 'Losing you destroyed me. I never thought I could be broken so completely. I wish there was a way to make sure I always know at least if you're alive.'

'That would have been very unhelpful. Now, however …'

'Yes?'

'It's not a good idea. How many Asgardian marriage rites do you know?'

'Just the one. The normal one.'

'The newer one, then. There used to be something else. It requires a witch that crafts a soul link. It's messy and dark and it's blood magic, which is not forbidden but frowned upon.'

'What does it do?'

'One would think the name is quite self-explanatory.'

'Loki, you know this is not my strength.'

Smirking, Loki gave him an exaggerated sigh. 'Well. In short, it would be the death of all privacy. You'd know for certain if I am dead or alive. My death would hurt you, physically, maybe kill you. You could force yourself into my head and vice versa. Given your ineptitude for magic that is more subtle than an all-destroying storm, you wouldn't be able to do that without me noticing, but you could all but subdue me with pure will. You could possibly manipulate my actions. I could look through your eyes without you any the wiser and control you without you knowing it. The good part is that this could also work to home in on each other if we were separated.'

'And what's the catch?'

'Were you listening to me? We would expose ourselves entirely to each other. Something like this, it takes a huge amount of trust. Also, if you die, I might drop dead a second later. Or I might not. That depends on a lot of factors.'

'I'm sure there are ways to avoid it.'

'With mental preparation. Again, my chances would be better than yours. By a long shot. I'm not saying you lack the intelligence, but you don't have the … finesse these things take. You know that.'

'I do. I want it.'

Loki groaned. 'And does what I want matter?'

Taking a step backwards, Thor swallowed. He honestly hadn't thought about what his brother might think about all this for a moment. 'Of course. I just …'

'It sounds romantic, I know. Don't think I haven't thought about it. But let me get used to the idea, to it being more than me chasing after things I can never have.' He smiled slightly. 'This rite is a bit dry, you know. We could do both, there's nothing speaking against that. If you so want to hear me pledge all I am to you once more, without a sword dangling over my head.'

'Well, first we need to bring our people home.'

'First, we need to get rid of Thanos for good,' Loki corrected him. 'Convince your Avengers that I don't need to be kept under lock and key. And then … then we can work out the rest. I do know one thing. I'll never leave your side if I have a choice. Is that good enough for now?'

Thor beamed at him. 'Perfect.'

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 _((The sentence, 'And I was so worried about him,' was said by a friend when we watched_ Infinity War _and it said Thanos would be back at the very end. I had to.))_


End file.
